<\/a> Last week, I attempted to do some Christmas shopping. (Still haven’t managed that, by the way. Nada. Zilch. Niente. Oops.)\u00a0 Anyway, I parked the car in a pay and display bay in town.\u00a0 Reasoning that this is Italy and everyone spends their entire lives sticking it to The Man, I didn’t bother to buy a ticket. \u00a0 Unfortunately, half an hour later, cold and wet, I returned to the car to find a soggy parking ticket slowly melting onto my windscreen.\u00a0 Burn, baby, burn.<\/span><\/p>\n As the ticket dried out at home, it became legible, and I realised that the fine was, despite being the maximum, only \u20ac5.\u00a0 Score!\u00a0 Comparing this with London, where the discounted early payment fine is usually upwards of \u00a350, I considered myself pretty lucky.\u00a0 However, a chill struck my bones as I realised that there was still the small matter of Italian bureaucracy to deal with …<\/span><\/p>\n A few weeks ago I attempted to buy a PAYG mobile.\u00a0 All I wanted was a SIM card that I could slot into my existing phone.\u00a0 Simple, no?\u00a0 Well, no.\u00a0 Even with Alex there to translate, it took a good half hour to sort out.\u00a0 I had to produce both my passport and Codice Fiscale (a bit like our National Insurance number, and without which you are unable to do pretty much anything).\u00a0 These were then photocopied in triplicate, and many complicated instructions issued.\u00a0 Finally, I was deemed able to take the SIM card.\u00a0 However, there was a ridiculous comedy moment when I tried to hand over the required \u20ac10.\u00a0 The assistant recoiled as if I had just offered him a handful of poo, rather than perfectly good legal tender.\u00a0 Thinking I had misunderstood his request for the money, I brought my hand back to my side.\u00a0 However, he then repeated that it would be \u20ac10.\u00a0 Puzzled, I tried to give him the money again.\u00a0 Again, he pulled back.\u00a0 Belatedly, I realised that he didn’t want the money to be passed hand to hand, but rather for me to place it on the desk.\u00a0 This is a peculiarly delicate Italian habit, and it always confuses me.\u00a0 Inevitably I do the wrong thing and try to put the money on the counter when the cashier is expecting me to hand it to them directly, and vice versa.\u00a0 It’s resulted in a few coins being dropped on the floor, and much embarrassed Itanglish burbling.<\/span><\/p>\n Anyway, given my experience with the phone, I feared the worst when it came to paying my parking ticket.\u00a0 Poring painfully over the instructions, I worked out that I had 10 days to pay before they started issuing fines and chasing letters, so decided to leave it until my day off, when I would have all day to sort things out.\u00a0 Envisioning something rather like the Post Office, where you are issued with numbers as you enter, which are then roundly ignored by everyone, I decided to head in early.\u00a0 Also, as I wasn’t quite sure where the place was in town, it would give me plenty of time to get lost.<\/span><\/p>\n In the event, I found the office easily.\u00a0 However, the blinds were all pulled down on the windows and the door closed.\u00a0 I checked the opening times again; nope, it SHOULD be open.\u00a0 Not that that necessarily means anything: this is Italy, after all.\u00a0 As I vainly hunted for a doorbell, however, the entry system buzzed and the door popped open.\u00a0 Stepping inside, somewhat nervously, I was faced with one woman on a reception desk.\u00a0 Not what I had expected at all.\u00a0 Offering my best smile, I said, ‘buongiorno<\/em>‘ and tentatively showed my parking ticket, hoping that she would understand and direct me to the, no doubt hellish, room of shouting Italians in which I should pay.\u00a0 Unsmiling, she tapped something into her computer and gestured for me to hand her the ticket.\u00a0 Still not quite believing that I wasn’t about to be directed to the seventh circle of hell, I passed it over.\u00a0 She typed a few more things into her computer.\u00a0 Then, brusquely, she said, ‘cinque<\/em>‘.\u00a0 I handed over \u20ac10.\u00a0 More tapping.\u00a0 A receipt was printed out, \u20ac5 change slapped onto the desk, and that was it.\u00a0 Unbelievable!\u00a0 In and out within 5 minutes, with no call for Italian bargaining, and only \u20ac5 down.\u00a0 If only Italian life were like this more often.<\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2297\/2163469900_ba1f20c4f5.jpg\" "\\"no")
<\/a>(<\/em>image by <\/span>Aaron Escobar<\/a> on Flickr)<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n